The Onion: NCC Bans Bicycle Commuters from Ottawa Recreational Path

Ottawa June 17

A report in the spirit of the Onion

Today, in a dramatic shift in policy, the National Capital Commission (NCC) in Ottawa has decided to ban all bicycle commuters from the recreational paths in the National Capital Region.

"It was inevitable", according to an NCC spokesperson.

"We had to make safety and the recreational enjoyment of these paths our first priority. These paths are for the enjoyment for all Canadians, not for the exclusive use of National Capital residents."

"While we realize that there are benefits to cycling to work, our mandate is to serve the larger interests of Canadians. When visiting Ottawa, Canadians expect to see these paths free from hazards so they wander freely and unpredictably with their strollers, dogs, and free-range children. Besides, residents should be satisfied with the other benefits of living in the National Capital Region, such as having a job."

There are other reasons why the paths are being banned to bicycle commuters:

"We have to consider the Canada geese. Their numbers have proliferated and raise the possibility of injury (to the geese)." Apparently, the Canada geese situation is out of control, due to the choice of many geese to raise their goslings on the path.

"The spectre of a gosling being injured by a commuter could have a dramatic toll on Ottawa's image as a nature-friendly city. We simply can't tolerate the possibility of injury (to a gosling) and its effect on our reputation as a tourist destination."

When asked how the NCC plans to enforce the bicycle commuter ban, they described several measures they will be implementing:

First, at key points along the path, 3-metre high fences will be erected with holes large enough for geese to pass through but too small for bicycles. When asked about the possibility of small children passing through, we were informed that this is a parental responsibility. If an incident of this nature occurs, the appropriate authorities will be notified.

Second, an enforcement regime will be implemented. Officers will patrol the segments of the path (occupying a car idling in the bushes) and fine all cyclists on the paths travelling over the speed of 10km/h, wearing a helmet, or carrying a pannier or backpack weighing over 3kg. The fine will be $133 - the equivalent of a week's worth of gas commuting from Stittsville.

As for alternatives for the bicycle commuters, this advice was offered, " Get a car, it will be cheaper in the long run".

If you live downtown, "rent a Bixi, but don't go further than the Canadian War Museum."

If you are a hardcore commuter, "be comfortable with four lanes of traffic, mind the potholes, sideview mirrors, and drivers using their iPhones. Always remember it is the cyclist who loses big time."

A picture of the Farm

Goodbye Farm

Authors Note: This story was written in the fall of 1996, just before my parents sold the farm.

This is my last day on the farm. I can't believe it. So many things have changed in my life, but one thing was always constant - the farm. The foundation of my upbringing, the refuge from the big bad world, the weekend retreat - no longer. My parents, who are now too old to keep up with the work, sold the farm. Now, with less than two weeks to go, they will depart as well. After thirty-five years of sun, sweat, toil, mud, cows and snow, it's over. None of us six kids wanted to take over the farm. No choice but to sell. They're moving into town.

I returned for the final time on the Labour Day weekend. No longer part of the agrarian population, I now make my home amongst the high-tech industries in Ottawa. The previous week, I had been jetting to a different U.S. city each day, espousing the wonders of our product to Corporate America. Upon my return, I had managed to squeeze a side trip (the last) to my parent's farm. One day I'm stepping out in Manhattan, - the next I'm stepping into a freshly formed cowpie in the barnyard. What a contrast - from the scions of Wall Street to the cows of the barnyard.

The farm is no ordinary farm. Situated just north of the village of Leith and close to the shore of Georgian Bay, it has all of the elements of paradise. The farm, one-hundred and fifty acres in total, is bordered on three sides by dense bush. The fourth side, which faces to the south affords an unobstructed view all the way to Owen Sound. In the distance, amongst the shimmering tin barn rooftops, I can see the farmhouse where Tom Thomson grew up. The beauty of the landscape, which he began to appreciate here, and finally expressed in a form that became our national treasure, is the very same beauty I grew up with. I know exactly what he felt and what he wanted to express. I've seen his early works, paintings of the area, and he has captured the very same mood that I feel now. To the west, above the trees of the near shore and below the far shore, I can see a blue sliver of Owen Sound Bay. Further to the north, the sliver opens into greater Georgian Bay and, with distant clouds, fuses with the sky. Here, it's the top of the world. I can see the entire world, or what really matters to me. The world needs to be no larger than what I can see.

What is the best way to say goodbye? I've often heard that lingering goodbyes are the worst. I've also heard the best goodbyes are the quick ones that have a real sense of closure. When I was a kid. I remember the goodbyes to visiting relatives from Holland. Often during the summer, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, from the old country would come and stay with us on the farm. During the brief weeks, they would become part of my world - the farm, and I would grow to love them dearly. Then, in the front yard where I am standing now, the visit would abruptly come to a close. The final goodbyes were exchanged. They were always brief and packed with emotion that was most often not shown. Suitcases packed in the trunk, visitors in the back seat, and my parents in the front, the car would begin its journey down the long hilly laneway. Not wanting to finish the goodbye, I would race back into the house, up the stairs to the bathroom where the window would give me a better view of the laneway. I could see the car go down the big hill, disappear from view, briefly appear at the rise of the middle hill, disappear once more, re-appear again, and as it made its final climb, disappear into the bush. I would wave but I knew they couldn't see me. The waving and the glimpses from the better view made the good-bye less painful. It consoled me. Now, as I walk around the farm, I feel that I am doing the same. I am consoling myself, as I survey the farm, snatching final glimpses, extending my goodbye.

Not only will I have to say goodbye to the farm as a whole, but also the house and the barn. The house is an old fieldstone house, older than the country itself. It is actually several houses in one. Starting from the back, a decrepit shed complete with an out-moded outhouse, next, to an old mundane middle brick part, and finally, culminating in the front, stands proudly the beautiful solid fieldstone structure. Built by a Scottish settler who was given a grant from the Queen's Bush, and using the glacial errata cleared from the fields, this is a true Southern Ontario fieldstone house, gathered , hewed and built from the geography and its residents . The barn too, like the house, is several barns in one. Viewed from the sky, it has the shape of a gargantuan, squared 'C' punctuated by a silo. From the ground, the aged gray cedar barn boards give testament to their time bared to the elements.

My flight back to Ottawa leaves soon. I must say my final goodbye. Like the goodbyes to my relatives from Holland, it is brief, emotional and silent. Suitcase in the trunk, me in the back seat, and my parents in the front, we begin the journey down the laneway. I look out the back window to catch the last glimpse. I can see the barn and the entire farm rising up behind. The house and bathroom window disappear and re-appear as we dip between the hills. Maybe the farm is waving goodbye and I cannot see. Maybe it too feels the pain that I do. We're near the end of the laneway. We make the final ascent and enter into the bush. The farm disappears from view. The last glimpse is seared in my brain. There are tears in my eyes. Goodbye Farm.

Unicycling the Tom Thomson Trail 2011 Edition

I successfully completed my second tour of the Tom Thomson Trail by unicycle on April 15th, 2011.

Instead of a detailed blog entry, I have created a YouTube video that chronicles my adventures for this year. You can see the video here.

Here are a few photos from the trip.

Highlights of my Tom Thomson Unicycle Adventure

It's been almost two weeks since I completed my epic Tom Thomson Unicycle Trip. I had provided updates on my Facebook profile, but several friends expressed keen interest in a blog report. Others are speculating that with no blog report I never actually did complete the trip and was lost to perdition. This blog entry should put these rumours to rest and set the record straight on my achievement.

Now the adventure:

It started exactly as planned. I departed 8:00am sharp on Friday May 7th, 2010. In hindsight, I am glad that I pushed my date up one day because Saturday offered the absolute worst weather that the month of May could offer (wind warnings, hail, snow, rain, and freezing temperature).

But Friday morning weather was perfect, a little on the chilly side and no wind, hence, perfect for unicycling. In the above photo, I am posing in front of the Tom Thomson Trail Head Kiosk in Meaford. Here is the link to the official trail map and my Google Maps interpretation of the Tom Thomson Trail.

The trail commenced at the Meaford Harbour and the first two kilometers cut through the streets of Meaford proper. An easy start but what I didn't bargain for was the steep hill by the hospital on Nelson Street. A quick glance on my heart rate monitor showed 160 bpm. If this number kept climbing at least the hospital was close by. Fortunately, I completed the hill quickly; I was so focused on the road that I didn't notice my father behind me who snapped the photo below.

Soon, I was out of Meaford, onto County Road 12. It was about 8:30am when all of the yellow school buses started to roll by. I managed to catch a few excited glances out of the school bus windows. Two kids waiting on the road didn't quite know what to make of me, nor did an unleashed dog gather its sensibilities in time to chase me.

Progress on County Road 12 was superb and picturesque. The chip and tar pavement was fine for a good pace and the relative smoothness afforded me some sightseeing along this road. The grazing cows also did not know what to make of me and I had the rapt attention of my biggest (bovine) audience ever.

Soon the road turned into Sideroad 16 and tar and chip gave way to gravel road. It was still relatively easy riding. But soon the tide began to turn...

The first indication was the sign below.

The "No Winter Maintenance" did not worry me, it was the "NO EXIT" proclamation. The latter had the tone of "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here". My imagination started to fire up and I began the unicyclist's interpretation of Pilgrim's Progress ( There is a Slough of Despond but that is on another route in Grey County).

Shortly thereafter, I met a hill too step for me to climb. I had to walk the last 50m to the summit. Then another big hill beyond my ability; I had to walk the last 250m. I began to curse glacial formations (I was surmounting drumlins beyond my abilities).

I passed a lone pedestrian (are they called pedestrians in these parts?) going in the opposite direction. I offered an apologetic grunt in passing: "The hill got the better of me." The reply was a stare of disbelief. I kept on moving, and mounted my unicycle as soon as glacially possible.

The road (it was now gradually degrading to a trail) was fine for the next few kilometers. Then it started getting really rough and technical. On the map Sideroad 16 looks straight but that was the surveyor's dream for this road. This wishful straightfulness was rather a series of bends switchbacks which forced me to dismount and re-mount numerous times. Just over an hour into the trip, it was at this point that I started to realize the magnitude of effort this trail would require should this be the road condition from now on. I took solace in the fact that I still had 3G coverage should anything go seriously awry. Perhaps this was the road to perdition but surely a Facebook friend would rescue me, if the need arose...

I turned onto the Sydenham/St. Vincent Town Line. I consider this this is the Mason Dixon line between Meaford and Owen Sound. Since the amalgamation, Meaford's jurisdiction has reached far beyond this line into what I consider Owen Sound's sphere of influence (including my home village of Leith), but that too is another story to be told.

The Sydenham/St. Vincent Town Line (hah!) in all its glory is below:

As you can see, the Town Line has large mud puddles with attitude. I have learned that mud puddles can hold some pretty nasty surprises for unicyclists, so I chose to dismount and walk around the bigger puddles. On one occasion my unicycle did land smack in the middle of a puddle but I managed to avoid the same. At least there's no chain to clean. Once this nasty stretch was behind me, I crossed Highway 26 and continued northward. I was reunited with a smoother tar and chip surface but with over 2 hours into the ride my butt started to hurt. But it wasn't enough to stop so I experimented with several creative weight-shifting positions on the saddle (left-hand only, right-hand only, both hands, lean back as far as possible with no hands, etc.)

The Town Line started to butt up (no pun intended) against the Niagara Escarpment. I encountered another steep hill where I had to walk up the last few meters. Then the road followed round the Escarpment, and suddenly I was treated to a wonderful vista of the farms in the township along with the distant islands on Georgian Bay (Griffith, Hay and White Cloud Island). I would have taken a picture, but I was concentrating on shifting the weight on my butt.

The road then began to track along the most westerly boundary of the Meaford Tank Range (as I still call it). Because of its similarity to northern France, The Meaford Tank Range was expropriated in 1942 for training preparation for D-Day. When I was a kid, I considered the Tank Range boundary as the end of the world.

Along this stretch, I was constantly reminded I was beside a forbidden zone, limited to horses only ("hors limites" as the lower-half of the sign says). This is where I stopped for lunch, discovered I had 3G coverage no longer. I half-expected a military person on a horse to suddenly appear to question my presence and my peculiar mode of transport. I was getting delusional; lunch fixed that.

After lunch, I turned onto Sideroad 30 going westbound. Not a difficult road, but a long and gradual descent towards Owen Sound Bay. Regular cyclists welcome these descents, but that is not so for unicyclists. On a unicycle there is no such thing as coasting, and descents require a constant back-pressure on the pedals. Not a big issue for short descents, but over long distances it adds up to quite a strain on the knees and I really started to feel it after 6-7 kilometers of descent.

My next major stop was at my parent's property in the township.

My parents have a garden here where they grow beans and tomatoes, not marijuana, as numerous other secret plots in the township are wont to do. It was at this point, I regained 3G coverage and called my parents to let them know I was out of danger of perdition. I reported that I would be arriving at the Leith Church around 12:30pm (4.5 hours into my trip). My progress was exactly as planned, I was a bit ahead of schedule, so I did some leisurely unicycle sightseeing in the village of Leith (about 3 minutes worth). Aside from the Leith Church, the village main attraction is the Leith Bridge (below).

After sightseeing, I unicycled to the Leith Church and its cemetery. As for its personal significance, you may wish to read my previous blog entry.

It was at Leith Church that I had arranged for the Sun Times Newspaper photographer, James Masters to snap a few pictures (James is also a good friend of mine from high school). James was scheduled to arrive a 1:00pm so I had a few minutes to spare. My parents arrived and we toured the cemetery and paid our respects to former neighbour and my cousin (first cousin once removed), Findlay Bergstra who passed away in 2006.

Although Tom Thomson's grave site is here (just 50m away), Findlay's resting place has much more significance to me and paying respect to Findlay is the primary reason for visiting Leith Cemetery.

We commenced the photo shoot for the paper! I departed the cemetery and unicycled up the road and back on the Tom Thomson Trail. There James took some unicycle action shots. James is a damn good photographer! This is the photo that made it into the paper.

(Photo Credit: James Master, Owen Sound Sun Times)

And here is a photo of the actual newspaper run.

The caption and accompanying text is as follows:

ONE WHEEL'S PLENTY: Man unicycles Thomson Trail

Tim Bouma of Ottawa makes his way down a section of the Tom Thomson Trail on his unicycle near Leith Friday afternoon. Bouma was about three-quarters of the way through his solo unicycle trip from Meaford to Owen Sound. Bouma, an avid cyclist who grew up in Leith has been unicycling for about two years and says he enjoys the sport, especially riding trails. According to Bouma, the challenge is both physical and mental. Bouma who did the trip as a personal challenge, estimated the trip would take about seven hours.

JAMES MASTERS The Sun Times

Once the photo shoot was complete. I was home free. I had less than 10 kilometers to go, and I arrived in Owen Sound around 2:30, right on schedule. Alas, there was no marching band to meet me at the trail head kiosk, just a couple of fishermen launching a boat while staring at me in disbelief.

Here is a photo of my GPS, showing a few key statistics:

The stats:

Total distance: 45.4km - (the extra distance was due to Leith sightseeing and photo shoot activities).

Moving Average: 9.2 km/hr -

Moving Time: 4 hrs 56 mins - (this is the total time my butt was in contact with the unicycle seal)

My heart rate monitor also had some interesting statistics:

The vital stats:

Total Duration: 6hrs 11 mins

Maximum Heart Rate: 174 bpm

Average Heart Rate: 121bpm

Calories: 3338 Kcal (remember 3500 Kcal is equal to 1lb of fat)

To conclude:

After briefly celebrating my achievement with the disbelieving fishermen, I quickly scooted off to the the local bike store, Bikeface.com where I revelled briefly in my newfound celebrity status. I had to cut it short because the weather gave out and it started to rain mercilessly. I unicycled to my parents' place in the rain, looking forward to a hot shower and home-cooked meal. Thank goodness the weather held out, because it went to hell-in-a-handbasket the following day (which was my originally planned date)

So that's my adventure!! Thanks to everyone who took an interest in my trip. I did complete the journey as this blog entry attests and I did not fall into perdition as rumoured by some. Perhaps this adventure will go down in history as a monumental first with hopefully many more trips to come.

I am considering making this an annual event to be held on the May long weekend. My son Noah (age 10 and a unicycling fiend) is keen to do this trip. Who knows where this will go, but certainly not into perdition as I have proven.

Tim Bouma

May 20th, 2010

Unicycle Live! from the Tom Thomson Trail

My trip will be shortly underway. If I don't show up at the appointed time, here is the map to track me down. When I turn on my iPhone, it will report my location on the picture below. Check back here often to see where I'm at.

I will be posting pictures along the route at my Facebook account.

GPS tracking powered by InstaMapper.com



Here is my route courtesy Google Maps

View Unicycle Routes in a larger map






Pictures as they become available will be posted here

PhotoScatter.com Uploads

Friday May 7th is the date!

I've decided to move my departure date for my Tom Thomson Unicycle Ride up one day to Friday May 7th, 2010. I'll be departing at 8:00am in the morning and if all goes well, I'll arrive in Owen Sound in the early afternoon.

Unicycling for a Smaller World

I've been pondering awhile about a general theme for my unicycle adventures, the Tom Thomson Trail being the first of many (I hope). I've already settled on the key principles for my rides:

1. The rides must be unsupported (i.e. no support Hummer following 10ft behind me)

2. I must carry all my gear, water, and food. Any replenishment, especially water, must be found along the route and not separately carried in by someone else (especially someone driving a Hummer)

3. To make things interesting and challenging, the route must be reasonably off the beaten path. Trails from old railways, forgotten concession roads, fit the bill perfectly

4. Whatever the unicycle adventure might be, there should be a link to something that is larger than the adventure itself.

But despite these principles, I've been stumped on a general tagline or theme. I like taglines and themes to be simple, provocative, flexible and with potential for fun. Two of my favourites are One Drop and Right to Play. You need only seconds to understand what these organizations are about, and what they want to achieve.

On Easter weekend, my good friend Dave, unintentionally gave me the theme for my unicycling adventure. Dave commented that one of his friends saw a unicyclist and his son at the park. Dave said to him "Hey, I know that guy! It's a small world!"

Then it struck me: "Unicycling for a Smaller World". Perhaps not as elegant as the other taglines, but this has potential, because...

1. We all yearn for a small world - we don't want empty physical space, rather we want a link to a rich textured world of relationships where everyone and everything feels close and comfortable (but not claustrophobic).
   
   
2. We live in a small world - for the past few millenia we thought our world was huge, limitless (and scary). That's not the case, it's limited in resources and we only have one blue dot in space to call our home (undiscovered exoplanets notwithstanding). The earth might look big from down here, but our world is truly small.
   
   
3. Your world is small when you unicycle - unlike other modes of transport where you can drift off temporarily or coast without adverse consequence, that's not the case with unicycling. You must be continually aware, engaged or fall flat on your face. To do this, you must focus, which narrows your perception to your immediate surroundings (especially bumps). This forced 'smallness" yields a completely different experience than cycling , walking or driving; Unicycling provides you with an unsurpassed richness of the route.

Anyway, these are some of the ideas I am working with.

P.S. I just got my iPhone and got it wired into Instamapper so you'll be able to track me live during the trip. At least this will come in handy if my butt doesn't hold out for the trip.

P.P.S. There is speculation I come from an exoplanet. I hope the photograph below dispels this notion. The UFO was merely passing by at the time.

Getting Ready for the Tom Thomson Unicycle Trip

This past weekend I was up in Owen Sound visiting my parents for Easter. This gave me an opportunity to do some initial "field" investigations on my upcoming unicycle trip on May 8th (only a month away). I decided to do a trial run of the last leg of the trip - from Leith Church to Owen Sound. My two sons, Noah (the unicyclist) and Yannick (the cyclist) were keen to tag along so we first went to Ainslie Woods, across from the farm where I grew up.

(Yannick, Noah and my Dad at the entrance of Ainslie Woods)

I enlisted the aid of my father to drop us off at the entrance of Ainslie, and we made our way down to the shore. The shore of Ainslie Woods is the skipping stone capital of the world.

(Yours truly, and my boys at the Ainslie Woods shore)

From there we made our way to Leith Church about 2 km away. This is where Tom Thomson's grave is located.

(Tom Thomson's Grave Site)

I try to visit the cemetery at least once a year, not just to visit Tom Thomson's grave but also to pay my respects to several dearly departed neighbours and a recently deceased relative of mine. If someone asked me what defines me most as a Canadian, I would without hesitation say it is this very place. Leith Cemetery links me to the first settlers who worked this land, carried on by my Dutch immigrant parents, and part of my family line resting amongst these settlers .

(Noah behind Leith Church)

After this brief respite, the kids loaded back into Dad's truck, I commenced the final leg of the Tom Thomson Trail. What was an unexpected challenge (which I will now factor into my planning) were the gale-force winds in the afternoon. Strong, unpredictable winds are the nemesis for any unicycle rider - it wreaks havoc on your balance. The winds were so strong, I had to walk the first portion of the trail, because I could not stay atop the unicycle.

However, it only took me little over an hour to get to the trailhead (averaging about 7.8 km/hr, including the walking). This is still in line with my estimation that I will be able to complete the trail in 5-6 hours. The biggest unknown is whether my butt can hold out for 43 km.

(Tom Thomson Trailhead, my final destination)

Rest in peace, Findlay. We miss you dearly.

Mapping My Tom Thomson Unicycle Route

I've been busy the past few days programming my route into my GPS and Google Maps. I am leaving nothing to navigational chance.

Here is my updated route with several checkpoints with estimated times of arrival based upon an 8:00am departure on Saturday May 8th, 2010. If all goes well, I will arrive back in Owen Sound around 2:45pm. I plan to have a major rest stop at Leith Church, the site of Tom Thomson's grave around 1pm.

Above is a photo of my father and my son taken during a hike a couple of years ago, on Highway 26, just a few kilometers from where I'll be crossing on the unicycle

Unicycling the Tom Thomsom Trail in May 2010

Unicycling the Tom Thomson Trail will be my first off-road unicycling adventure.

The Tom Thomson Trail is a non-motorized, multi-use (biking, hiking and horseback riding), 3-season (spring through fall) trail between Owen Sound and Meaford and is 43.4 km long. This trail goes right by the farm where I grew up as a kid.

My plan is to unicycle the Tom Thomson trail in early May 2010. My objective is to unicycle the trail in its entirely and with no logistical support (i.e. no support car following me) save for a few water replenishments along the way. I estimate it will take me 4-6 hours to complete.

Other than riding the trail, I've not yet made any plans for fund-raising or sponsorship. I am doing this first and foremost as a personal challenge, but if anyone has any idea to make this a more fun and meaningful event I am open to suggestions. Dave Adair has agreed to be my local PR Manager and he is already dreaming up sensational headlines.

As my plans develop, I will keep everyone up-to-date who is interested.

Where has the time gone?

Chess-in-the-Street 2007

I'm starting to organize the 2007 edition of Chess-in-the-Street. I've put up the new website at: http://chessinthestreet.pbwiki.com.

Successful Chess-in-the-Street

The event I organized this weekend, Chess-in-the-Street was a fantastic success!!!

You can see the photos of the event (in reverse chronological order) at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/timbouma/show/

Tim

Building an Alternative Theory of Identity

If you've been reading my previous identity posts, I've been introducing some new concepts to the identity realm. These have been inspired by my readings of Kripke, who published a seminal work in 1970, Naming and Necessity, which according to the Wikipedia entry, "re-structured philosophy and made metaphysic respectable again".

To appreciate where I am coming from, or to better understand what I am trying to convey to you - I'm not interested in solving the Single-Sign-On (SSO) problem, or building another SAML or Federated Identity solution - as most vendors are doing a great job of this already. I am trying to understand, what are the necessary concepts required to build a new social institution that is built upon an alternative identity.

'A new social instituition?! An alternative theory of identity?!', you ask. 'That's pretty crazy!!'.
Well so be it! To paraphrase a tired cliche, to better understand the box you're in, figure out what it looks like on the outside and understand the table it sits on.

I came upon this thinking, when one of my public sector colleagues made the very intriguing statement several months back that 'we have an implicit identity management scheme throughout our systems of government'. In Canada, we have formalized privacy as an 'institution' by means of legislation and the creation of an Agent of Parliament, namely the Privacy Commissioner. So the question came to mind - what if we formally institutionalized identity - what would it look like? Would we have an Identity Commissioner? What principles would this institution have? And, what powers? You have to think about all this stuff, even before you start designing systems that support the institution.

As I've been thinking about this question, I've found that Kripke's writings are shedding a different light on the identity management problem and providing useful avenues of thought.

I haven't yet tackled, Kripke's original work, Naming and Necessity (I have to buy it from Amazon or check it out of University Library, once I find my alumni card). But I have found several derivative works on the web that have helped me immensely, in particular this essay by John Burgess from Princeton. Burgess does a particulary good job of describing the shortcomings of the Descriptive Theory of Reference and its band-aid, the Cluster Theory. These two theories fall down when taking into account the problems of error and ignorance. In a nutshell, if I knew George Bush, but thought he was the 41st President of the United States (his dad), or didn't know that he was the 43rd Prez, does this diminish the reference that I have of him? The fundamental shortcoming of the descriptive theory, is that no matter how well or completely I describe someone, these descriptions still falls short of the absolute reference I desire.

Kripke offers an alternative view - one based upon the historical chain - the causal event chain, that begins with 1) baptism - an act of ostension (picking out) and bestowing a name (the baptiser being the first user of this name) and, 2) transmission, the subsequent use of this name by later users to pick out the same thing that was baptized. This posting is getting long - I'll elaborate historical chain concept in a subsequent posting

So, in building my alternative theory (enough to develop a new social institution, that is) this is the concept inventory so far:

• Social Actions, and Social Relations, courtesy Max Weber,
• Absolute Reference and Identity, courtesy my own musings
• Historical Chain, consisting of baptism and transmission, courtesy Kripke.

And, to act out this theory, we have our IDM Dramatis Personae, consisting of Alice, Bob, their friends, enemies, etc.

'til next time

Any comments on this blog or welcome or mailto: - tim.bouma @ sympatico.ca (only human-generated mail is welcome)

Tim Bouma

Tim Horton's IPO - best thing since the Netscape IPO

Attention all Americans,

In case you missed it - According the Globe and Mail today, - this is truly the most exiting IPO, since the 1995 Netscape IPO.

Investor appetite for Canadian coffee and doughnut icon Tim Hortons Inc. surpassed already lofty expectations Friday, with the shares jumping about 30 per cent on its first day of trading

(see full article Tim Hortons IPO )

In truly Canadian fashion, many of the reader's comments are about how bad the coffee is, and how they won't be successful in the US market. To be successful in the US, I proposed that we change the name to Stan Mikita's Donuts.

Identity Management - A Play Overview and Dramatis Personae.

If I were to write a play about Identity Management, this is the play overview and the characters I would use (courtesy Answers.com ). Note to cryptographers - you should already be familiar with Alice and Bob.

So here we go:

Play Overview:

The play begins with Alice wanting to send a message to Bob, her true love. After going through the whole cryptographic rigamorole, and sending intimate messages to one another, Alice begins to doubt Bob's true identity. Thus, she begins a quest to find the truth by asking their mutual friends, Carol and Dave for proof. As with any good play, plot complications and evil characters arise; Eve, Mallory, and Oscar (Alice's unrequited lover) thwart her at every turn. The chain of events involve exceptional malice and spite and culminate in an appearance before the courts, where Justin, the judge resolves the dispute, uncovers the truth, and puts the bad guys in jail. All ends swimmingly, as Justin is suddenly called to preside over an impromptu wedding ceremony. Who gets married to whom? You'll have to wait for the play to be written before you find out!


IDM Dramatis Personae:

The cast, in order of the alphabet:

Alice and Bob. The main characters. The first known archetypal individuals used to explain cryptographic protocols. These characters were invented by Ron Rivest but he never did explain the relationship between the two of them. This play hopes to explore that aspect.

Carol and Dave, third and fourth participants in communications between Alice and Bob. All four are close friends, but we're never sure how close or what the word "friend" really means for them.

Eve, an eavesdropper, is a passive attacker. While she can listen in on messages between Alice and Bob, she cannot modify them.

Isaac, an Internet Service Provider (ISP). As a result of the Patriot Act, Isaac and Plod (the police officer) have become very good friends.

Ivan, an issuer (as in financial cryptography). No connections with the Russian counterfeiting ring - shame on you for thinking that.

Justin, from the justice system. Clean as a whistle - until he whets his whistle.

Mallory, a malicious attacker; unlike Eve, Mallory can modify messages, substitute her own messages, replay old messages, and so on. The problem of securing a system against Mallory is much greater than against Eve because Mallory has violent tendencies. To further add to the intrigue, Mallory has two evil identical twins of the opposite sex named Marvin and Mallet. I guess that makes them identical triplets - andthe opposite sex thing really throws a good wrench into the main plot and provides great basis for an identity-crisis sub-plot.

Matilda, a merchant (as in ecommerce or financial cryptography). Matilda sells something to do with images, but you'd better ask Steve what exactly this is.

Oscar, an opponent, is usually taken as equivalent to Mallory.

Pat or Peggy,, a prover, and Victor, a verifier, who often must interact in some way to show that the intended transaction has actually taken place.

Plod, a law enforcement officer (P for police, also "Officer Plod" inspired from the children's TV show Noddy). Plod has a secret MD5 hash problem.

Steve, an agoraphobic extrovert, obsesses over Steganography. Steve used to work for a unnamed Port Authority but the fresh air in the vast expanse of the dock container-yards was too much. Due to what might be considered a career-limiting-move (if they find out), Steve quit and found better, more profitable things to do with his time.

Trudy, an intruder: another alternative to Mallory. Could the triplets actually be quadruplets? To sort out this evil quadrangle will require some pretty sophisticated biometric technologies.

Trent, a trusted arbitrator, is some kind of neutral third party, whose exact role varies with the character and topic under discussion. Trust, in Trent's view, is merely a stepping stone to bigger and better things. Trent has aspirations of running for President.

Walter, a warden, may be needed to guard Alice and Bob in some respect, depending on the gravity or absurdity of the situation.

Zoe, the last party to be involved in a cryptographic protocol. Zoe's always the last to the party, but she more than makes up for it by being the last to leave!!!

Absolute Reference and Identity

Human beings crave absolutes.

Like a craving for chocolate -we desire things that comfort and satisfy us. Absolute references are something we crave - because we want things in our life that don't change. We want things that are constant - they're the same every time we encounter them. For some, it's mom's home cooking, or the bedroom that hasn't changed since the teenaged years, despite moving out. On a grander scale, an absolute reference might be someone's belief in, unchanging god, or a set of humanistic or nationalist principles that they are willing to die for.

With more earthly matters, we need absolute references as a basis to our relationships in family and society. My mother will always be my mother even if she decides to change her name. My first point is that we try to relate to people with the best absolute reference we can - in the case of my mother - it's that mother-child bond, which trumps any name. To this day, I don't call my mother by her real name - still mom. For others next best absolute reference is their given name. People to whom we have lesser relationships, we use their name, and that's how we build relationships and function in a larger society.

My second point is that identity is a function that serves to provide this absoulute reference. My observation is that the prevailing schools of identity management a) don't recognize the distinction between absolute reference and identity, and, b) follow the Descriptive School of Reference. The implication of this school of thought on identity is that if you gather enough information about an individual, the more sure it's him/her.

In keeping with Kripke, I believe that a) absolute reference is distinct from identity, and b) we should follow the Casual Theory of Reference, where our best references are actually arise from an unbroken chain of historical events (cause and effect). This is the avenue we must explore if we are to understand the nature of identity. I'm not advocating either/or. In both schools a different light is shed on the problem.

My personal prize in these musings is a simple yet profound insight that can shift our thinking as we craft policy, build system, and invent technologies.

'til then

Tim Bouma

Ottawa Chess-in-the-Street

An announcement for an event that I'm organizing in my community

Hi everyone,
The details have been finalized and I am pleased to announce "Chess in the Street" to be held as part of Ottawa's biggest street festival WESTFEST, on Saturday and Sunday, June 10th and 11th, 2006.

The official announcement on the WESTFEST site :

"Chess-in-the-Street is an outdoor chess event that takes the game of chess from the parlour to the street. Chess-in-the-Street will have numerous activities appealing to everyone: from kids to adults and from those who have never played before to the seasoned tournament player. With each game you play, your name will be entered in a draw for prizes. Chess-in-the-Street will also have GIANTCHESS!, a giant-sized chess board on the street. There will be a Simultaneous Chess Competition in the afternoon each day, featuring a ChessMaster who will battle 15 simultaneous chess opponents. June 10th, 11th, 2006, 10 am through 4 pm Richmond Road & Roosevelt Avenue".

Some items of note:

First of all, this is an OUTREACH EVENT, not a tournament. The theory goes, that there are tons of people who are aware of chess, but not aware of what chess can offer to them (like the author, two years ago) The success of this event depends only upon the people discovering the wonders of chess in a novel and festive setting.

Second, the author would like to thank the gracious support of the producer of WESTFEST, who managed to squeeze us into this very popular event (expected attendance of 30,000-50,000.) To appeal to kids, a big part of WESTFEST, we have situated Chess-in-the-Street within the WESTFESTKIDSZONE to encourage kids, their parents and any brave adults to play with one another.

Third, the author would like to thank the Chess-and-Math organization (in particular, Larry Bevand and David Gordon) for their enthusiastic support and lending us the GIANTCHESS set for the occasion.

Finally, we're still looking for volunteers and sponsors to help - mostly to hang out and encourage people to play - we'll be having 8-10 boards open during the course of the day, and if there are sufficient and willing chess souls out there, we're planning to conduct simuls to wrap up each day. If you wish to help out, please let me know at: e-mail:tim.bouma@sympatico.ca
All in all, Chess-in-the-Street should be quite a spectacle. If it works this year, we may consider growing it into an annual festival event, including rated tournaments etc. But for now, the focus this year is simply to bring "Chess-in-the-Street".

Thanks to all, who have made this a happening, and thanks in advance to those willing to pitch in.

Does Hamlet have an Identity?

This question popped into my mind yesterday. "Does Hamlet have an identity?"


This question was inspired by several things.

First , due to my ponderings of identity as a reference, courtesy the philosopher, Saul Kripke, who came up with the Causal Theory of Reference and Theory of Proper Names (the Bart Simpson version of this can be found here )

Second, upon reading an article by David Weinberger, entitled The Year of the Unique ID. where he discusses how we should uniquely identify Shakespeare's creation of Hamlet, as a work, expression, manifestation, or item.

I realized through my hazy Kripke lens, I should ask the silly but profound question "Does Hamlet have an identity?". Some might say, this is a ridiculous question, because Hamlet is a fictional character. Practically speaking, yes, but by pursuing this question, we can learn more about the true function of identity - a question that gets easily swept under the rug.

I'm on work time right now - so I'll keep the following short: I'll pose some related questions.

Does Hamlet need an identity? - Hamlet himself, does not - but we need to ascribe him one - if we are to have a conversation about him. We need to have a common reference. Shakespearian scholars need to give Hamlet an identity, if they are to analyze his motives, feelings, etc. If we can't arrive at a common or definitive reference (it's just some guy in a play) - then we can't progress very far on Hamlet.

What exactly is Hamlet's identity? If you take the identity management vendor approach - it's his name, date-of-birth, SSN, plus some biometric. Heck, I'll have to re-read the play to see whether Hamlet has blue eyes, but I don't think I'll be able to scan his irises?

What does identity really serve? My hunch is that identity serves our need as human beings to have absolute references (as best we can) to one another. My friends and family want to know me as 'me", regardless of my name, date-of-birth or where I live. These things only serve to help my friends and family relate to me. They might be ascribed to me as my "identity", but I'm starting to realized these things are not actually my identity. They're only things that help other people relate and interact with me.

I believe if we figure out how we relate to Hamlet as a fictional character, we can apply this to the real world, and better undertand how others (and their supporting systems) should best relate to me as a real character.

That's it for now!

Tim